Recently, I came across an article written by Rena McDaniel that outlined the attributes that she considered necessary to be positive caregiver. She developed this list in hopes that other caregivers would not have to learn 'by the seat of their pants" like she did. These attributes are attainable and well worth considering. Here is the list:
1. Love--This is the first, last and most essential on the list. Everything you do or say MUST come from a place of love. You are going to have good days and bad days. You must remember the person you are caring for is your "loved" one.
2.Committment--You must be committed to this journey you are about to go on. This isn't a job you can quit if you don't like it anymore. Sure there will be days that you will feel that you can't take it anymore. Your loved one depends on you.
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3.Understanding-You must try to understand what your loved one is feeling. You have to try to see things through their eyes. They can not express their feelings the way you and I would.
4.Patience--Your patience will be tested again and again. You will hear the same questions and stories over and over again. Your loved one cannot remember that they have asked the same question 99 times before. You must keep your voice, your facial expressions calm no matter what. Your loved one will pick up on your emotions.
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5.Caring--Everything you do must show your loved one that they area cared for. Every touch, every word. You have to let them know everyday that they are safe and secure.
6.Knowledge--The more you know, the more confident you will become, and the better care you can give. You don't have to learn everything at once, but you need to learn where to look.
7.Honesty--Sometimes, you will have to tell your loved one a little "white lie". These white lies are told out of love, not to harm. The honesty that this refers to is being honest with yourself. If there are areas in which you need help or simply need a break to recharge you have to be HONEST with yourself and ask someone for that help.
8.Flexibility--You have to be able to set a schedule to suit your loved one's needs. It is their schedule that must come first and you will find that you will have to follow that schedule for the greater good.
9.Perspective--You have to be aware of your loved one's underlining emotions. You have to look into their face, watch their eyes, their facial expressions. You must listen to their voices. You will learn to understand them in ways you never thought possible.
10.Organization--Someone with dementia will do so much better if they are on a consistent schedule or routine. Keeping track of medications and doctors appointments are a must. If you are organized your whole life will run smoother
Rena McDaniel adds her personal motto" Appreciate the Good, Laugh at the Crazy, Deal with the Ugly".
Good advise for any caregiver.
